Follow the Rainbow

This is a random poem I wrote based on a prompt of a poem title being “follow the rainbow.”
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FOLLOW THE RAINBOW

In the countries throughout
Where freedom should reign.
There stands yet a blockage
Impeding our way.

We march and we fight
For the sake of our hearts,
Hoping that someday
Equality starts.

Be aware of our plight
And may our pride show.
One day we’ll be free
Follow the rainbow.

Thinking

The mind is both a gift and curse. It’s such a bittersweet thing that rules over our lives, having less of an influence in some than in others. It is our minds that allow us to think, an action that can bring out the best, the worst, and the greatest frustration in some people. For me it’s the latter, sadly.

I can’t just do things. I can’t do it. Nike’s slogan contains the simplest three words and yet together they create a phrase that becomes the hardest thing for me to do. I can’t “just do it.” I end up questioning myself over and over again, thinking of every possible outcome to every possible situation before I just do something. It’s both good, helping me avoid sticky situations, and bad because I end up being unable to decide what to say/what to do and simply do nothing. Then later on I’ll get annoyed with myself because I couldn’t loosen my barriers for once and “just do it.”

I have to wonder how some people are able to just do things without giving a second thought to it. I really wish I had that ability, for it would make my life so much easier. Instead, I’m stuck with a mind that makes everything go through a thousand checks and barriers and walls before actually coming out. It’s infuriating at times, but what can you do?

I thought I was getting better, and I think I am because I’m slightly more outgoing than I was before, but I still quintuple guess myself. lskdjfjlsdhdks

Maybe I should just keep myself extremely tired or hyper. Those are the only time the thousand barriers in my mind break free and I end up doing whatever the hell I feel like doing. It’s a rather liberating feeling.

Ah well, I don’t know. I’m just typing my random thoughts for the day.

How Do People Give Advice?

I wish I knew how therapists got people to feel better. The human mind is just so vast and intricate that I don’t understand how it is possible for therapists to do what they’re paid to do.  The way I see it is that there’s two options for giving advice: optimism or reality.  If you try to make people feel better by being optimistic and trying to get them to hope for something better and/or see life in a brighter light, you may help them realize that life isn’t so bad after all.  On the downside, you may also fill them with false hope, which they will regret you for later on.  On the other hand, if you throw reality at someone to try and make them feel better, you may encourage them to try and fix what’s wrong in order to put their life back together.  On the downside, you may also cause them simply to feel worse as you push reality in their faces.

What about a mix of the two?  That would be ideal, but it’s hard to accomplish depending on the situation.  The easiest way to mix them up is if you’re giving advice in a situation you’ve gone through.  Then you know what to do and what to say.  However, what if you weren’t in that situation?  What if you don’t know how the person is truly feeling because you’ve never gone through their problems?  What do you say to them then, optimism or reality?  And how will you know which option is the right choice?  I’ve always gone with optimism, but lately I’ve been questioning my hypocricy.  In reality, life is not always sunny happy rainbows and flowers.  Life has problems and issues.  Instead of telling people to hope, maybe telling people to take responsibility for their actions and fix things up would be better, but would that be too harsh?

Of course though there’s always the option of humor, but that’s just a temporary sidetrack before the sticky situation hits you again.  It may be good for a short time, but eventually it’ll wear off.

I really don’t know at this point.  These are just random thoughts that have been going through my head recently.  I want to help people who are feeling down, I truly do, but sometimes it seems like I don’t because I don’t know what to say, and that is far from what I really wish.

What’s Right and What’s Easy

One of the hardest things to choose between is what’s right and what’s easy.

The human mind is inclined to do what is easiest in a situation, especially in the current society.  Take for example researching.  Everyone’s favorite search engine – Google – is now the way everyone gets information.  Back in the day, people used to take the time to look through an encyclopedia or journal to find information.  However, this can’t be helped, as technology makes our society more advanced and yet more lazy at the same time.  That though, is a topic for another post.

The decision between what’s right and what’s easy shows true character in a person.  Say for example that you were a manager at a company and a co-worker came up to you, complaining that someone else was not completing his/her job.  Would you do what’s easy and go up to the accused, firing them on the spot?  Or would you do what’s right and talk to him/her, finding out what the other side of the story is before thinking over the situation and then deciding on an action to take?

That’s a scenario in the future for most readers of this blog though, so here’s a more relatable example.  Say two of your friends got in a fight and you were stuck in the middle.  Would you take the easy way out and choose a side/ignore them, or would you do the right thing and try to play the peacemaker in order to work out their arguments?

Whatever the circumstances may be, doing what’s right and what’s easy is a choice people will have to make many times in their lives.  The question that remains is, what will you do when the time comes, take the simple road or the winding path?

Happy Holidays and Ponderments

Happy holidays! I’m finally on break, and it feels absolutely wonderful.  Tuesday was my last day (rather late but oh well), and it is such a relief to have nothing to do for a whole twelve days.
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Anyway, on to the post.  I’d just like to say that I apologize if this post sounds a little boastful. It isn’t meant to be; the information is just to try and back up my point.

A few days ago, as I was thinking about doing my research paper and how much I procrastinated on it, I came upon an intriguing thought.  Is procrastination really detrimental, or is it actually helping me?

I took a vocabulary test this past Monday.  It was on three units of vocab, which consisted of a total of 60 words.  As usual, I had extremely procrastinated and didn’t study until homeroom.  I looked over the words for the 20 or so minutes that homeroom lasts for, and then took the test the next period.  When I got it back the next day, I had gotten an 87.

Granted I had already a general idea of what about ¼ of the words meant, but an 87 after 20 minutes of studying surprised me a little.  Previously, I would also study on the bus and a few minutes before homeroom, which was about an extra 20 minutes, and I would still get high 80s.  I had never waited until homeroom to start studying, and I wasn’t expecting to be able to remember as many words as I had.

I remember the vocab units I had back in elementary school.  They consisted of only 15 words, and we only did one unit at a time.  Nonetheless, I would study for about half an hour and even have my dad test me on those fifteen words.  I usually got full marks on the vocabulary tests back then, and granted if I did study more for my vocab tests nowadays I could probably still get full marks, but the rate at which I retain information now astounds me, something which is all thanks to procrastination.

I also tend to be able to produce somewhat high-quality work in a short span of time.  Last year, for English, I always ended up typing my papers the morning of the day they were due on, and I never got lower than an 86 (I’m pretty sure anyway).  For a creative writing paper that had to compare a modern day song with a book, I did it at three in the morning and got a 92.  The same goes for my research paper, which got a 90.  I remember hearing people complain about the long, agonizing hours they put into their work, while I just did it in the shortest amount of time possible.

It does make me feel a little cheap though, because I spend little effort on my work and earn good grades, while people who put in tons of effort may/may not end up with a good grade.  However, this may be helpful in the future.  What if someone’s asked to do something in a few hour’s notice (and I’ve heard this does happen in workplaces)?  People who are used to taking their time will be panicking frantically.  Meanwhile, it would be easy for me because I’m used to completing things at the last minute.  This would be a very helpful trait in that situation.

While I’m aware that there are many negative effects from procrastination, right now it seems that it’s helping me in a few positive ways.  I am able to rapidly memorize things.  I can produce decent work in short spans of time.  I also find time to do things when there is seemingly none.  Due to this, it makes me wonder if procrastination truly is as bad as people make it out to seem.
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Anyway, I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, happy holidays, and have a great new year.

Rant

Why are there people that are so completely biased and stubborn that they can’t listen to ANYONE’S opinions except their own?  I mean, yes you can stick to your thoughts, but you can at least acknowledge that other opinions exist.

Also: why are people so unaccepting of unique individuals?

Hm.  I may have been slightly hypocritical with those two statements.

On College and Life

My parents keep pressuring me in my school work to do better (I’m getting low A’s right now) so that I can get into a “top college” and thus go on the path to being “successful in life.”  Being my contrary self, I tend to ignore their pressuring and instead just do what I want and get borderline “good” grades.  I never really thought about why I did this, but now I believe I finally have a reason why.

Getting into one of the top 10 colleges doesn’t guarantee you a prosperous life.  True, it increases your chances of being picked for a job if the employer sees you have a degree from a well-known university, but that doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily be successful.  A good college is just a name, a label which is placed upon a person that stereotypes them from the “norm.”  It doesn’t show the true potential of the person’s mind; it just shows that the person is capable of learning well.  What truly separates the prosperous from the unsuccessful is an innovative mind – the ability to think of something new and original that has never been brought to earth before, and people with said flourishing minds do not always come from the best colleges.  In fact, they can come from anywhere, from Harvard down to the community college.  As long as one has the determination to put that innovation in motion, they will have the two aspects leading to success.  After all, Thomas Edison never went to Harvard.  To use a more modern example, neither did Kevin Rose, and yet he and Edison are both considered successful men.  Why?  The answer is simple: because they were innovative.  Edison’s light bulb and Kevin Rose’s site Digg were both new and original ideas that the world had never seen before, and because they were such alien inventions, peoples’ natural instinct was to check them out and thus gain them popularity and money.  That is what made them successful, not the college they went to or what rank they were in high school, but a mind going down a path that no strand of intellect had ever wandered through before.

Having said that, the reason I am so opposed to my parents’ wills is because I want to prove them wrong – to show them that I can be “rich and successful” or whatever they call it without having gone to a university that everyone knows.  Granted, I know to aim higher than community colleges or some state colleges, but I do not necessarily need to get into MIT or be valedictorian in order to make money when I come out of school.  This they do not understand, because they’re such stubborn and rigid individuals, but my goal is to make them flexible by showing them the cracks in their unwavering beliefs.  Stubborn people who cannot see others’ opinions irritate me, because if they cannot see the other side then their opinion lacks the base to be valid, so they need to understand that there are more opinions than just their own, and by acknowledging those other opinions only then can they truly form a justified opinion.  That is what I want my parents to see.  I want to be able to open their eyes, even if it means I will have to disobey them, possibly get kicked out of the house, and not have any funding for college.  It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Now the question that remains is: why do I want to change my parents so badly?  The true answer to this question I have not yet found, though I have some theories for it.  One: I want them to be more flexible towards my brother, who is trying to live the life of a regular child (because my parents force him to) even though he has ADD and is slightly autistic,  two: I genuinely wish to help my parents no matter what it takes, or three: I just want to have the satisfaction of knowing I finally managed to fully prove them wrong in something.  It could be a combination of the three, I really don’t know for sure right now.  However, the one thing I do know is that I will not be able to live up to their fullest standards at this rate, and for that they will either compensate and bend their standards or snap in half.  Call me selfish if you will, since it may seem like I refuse to change myself for the sake of my parents, but forgive me when I say that you should not assume such a trait within me, because you have no idea how my parents treat/have treated me.

I don’t really know why I’m being so philosophical all of the sudden.  It’s probably because I’ve been reading Emerson and Thoreau in English, and they’ve been encouraging me to, instead of just looking at the wider picture of life, examine the finer details and question why they occur.

I Don’t Really Get It

I don’t get why people see frivolous things such as the latest brands of clothing or that amazing new Gucci purse important aspects of life.  It just irks me to no end because I just want to scream “Think of what’s important in life!” which is certainly not clothing and purses.  It also amuses me how people in non-honors/AP classes think that reading five or six pages of a chapter is A SHITLOAD OF WORK.  After having to read 20-30 page chapters in a night, I don’t even consider 15 a lot.  Guh.  I have a lot of pent-up frustration from overloads of homework (which I procrastinate grandly on) and hearing people complain about an hour of work.  An hour isn’t a lot.  Get over it.  Take higher-level classes.  Go to college.  Then you’ll know what a lot is.

I’ve discovered several sweet bands (with the help of Dan XD) that you should definitely check out:
-Stratovarius
-Sigur Ros
-Lacuna Coil
-Soulidium
-Battlelore
-Eyes of Eden
-Suidakra (if not the band then their one song Dead Man’s Reel)

I love my iPod Touch.  Having wifi wherever I go is amazing.

Controversial Topic Views

I was listening to the Uncorked episode of the Update because I was extremely bored today.  After listening to the various discussion topics and laughing at many spots, I decided to give my views on the topics discussed because I am, again, extremely bored with nothing better to do, and I never really have expressed my views on controversial topics like these.

End of the World?
December 2012, the day the world combusts and explodes and whatever.  No, I don’t believe that’s true.  As far as I know there is no possible way yet to see into the future, so I don’t believe ancient civilizations hundreds of years ago could have predicted something as big as the end of the world on such a specific day.  December 2012 is only about four years away, and if the world was going to end on that day I’m pretty sure scientists would have been able to detect some sort of malfunction in nature that would lead up to it.  Or maybe they have and they’re keeping it secret.  Who knows?

What is the meaning of life?
For whatever odd reason, whenever I hear the saying “what is the meaning of life” I always think “to marry a monkey.”  I don’t know where I heard “to marry a monkey” from or why it’s been stuck in my head as my instinctual response, so don’t ask.  But it’s not my actual response to the question.  The meaning of life varies with who we’re talking about.  If it’s for species of life other than humans, I would say that it would be reproduction.  A year of AP Bio drilled that into my head – that all species live to reproduce.  However for humans, while reproduction is still a part of it, I would say that there is more to the meaning of life than just mindless breeding.  Shane’s response to this topic was to better ourselves, and that I agree with.  Since humans are intelligent, the meaning of life for us should be to somehow advance ourselves and have some sort of impact on the world.  Whether it be good or bad is decided by the person, but nonetheless people will grow and do things that have some effect on the world.

Global Warming
Again I have to agree with the panel’s response to this topic – that global warming is occurring but not to the large scale that people put it as.  Yes, more AP Bio drilled this response into my head.  Anyway, we learned in bio that the hole in the ozone layer has gotten larger throughout the years, but in current years it has started to become slightly smaller.  Therefore with that evidence in hand, it can be somewhat safe to say that global warming is a natural cycle of the world.  Perhaps humans are making the cycle speed up and maybe are making some effects greater than they would be, but it is still a natural cycle nonetheless.

Cloning
If there are no detrimental effects of whatever is being cloned, I see nothing wrong with cloning.  I do not know much about cloning or the sciences behind how it’s done and what is involved, but if things such as animals, plants, and organs are not harmed when being cloned, there is no reason it should not be done.  After all, a larger number of the things mentioned above would help not only humans but the world as well.  Maybe we could even clone endangered species.  As for human cloning, I don’t think that should be done now with the current state of overpopulation in the world.  Perhaps if a person was dying and the only way to save them was to make a clone then yes clone them, but I can’t really see a situation where that would happen.

Origin of the Universe
Big Bang.  I’m atheist.  I’ll save my irritations about creationism/religion for another post (seeing as that would be rather long – I’m a bit like Brad when it comes to talking about them).  I have nothing wrong with religion, as people are free to believe what they want, but people need to understand that scientific evidence is greater than a book.

Extraterrestrial Life
OF COURSE ET EXISTS!  I DIDN’T CRY THROUGH THAT MOVIE FOR NOTHING!

On a more serious note, I think somewhere out there aliens exist.  The universe is infinite, and we haven’t even explored one thousandth of it.  There is a good possibility that somewhere beyond our current reaches there is life of some sort.  Perhaps the life is small, like bacteria, that has not yet become as advanced as life on Earth.  As of now we haven’t traveled throughout the universe yet, so anything is possible when it comes to life.

Parents and Video Games
In my opinion, the way a child comes out is all dependent upon the parents.  Parents should teach their child the proper morals and the proper ethics of life when the child is young.  If they do so correctly and they buy video games for their child, then the child will know better than to do things in real life that happens in the video game.  If parents have been lax on raising their child properly, then yes the child may have some thoughts about doing things in video games in real life (may, not will).  In my mind, if parents believe their child is mature and they have raised their child well, there should be no problem with buying them video games.  I’m not saying you should buy them video games at any age (I would not buy my child GTA or Resident Evil or something when they’re under 10 years old), but there comes a fine line between being too young and parents being overprotective; kids will find out about swear words and innuendo’s eventually.  In the end, it all comes down to how the parents raise and teach their child and their decisions.

Abortion
Again, it’s all up to decisions and responsibilities on the parents.  If it’s, say, something like teen pregnancy, and both parents feel a child would be too much of a hassle and the baby is still within the first trimester/early second trimester, I wouldn’t see much of a problem with that (except for the fact that the teens decided to have sex).  In another scenario, maybe the father is a drunk hobo every other day and the mother feels it would not be safe to have a child, then yes there would be nothing wrong with abortion either.  I don’t feel it’s something wrong as long as the circumstances for having the abortion are alright (aka not having the abortion just for the sake of having one) and the baby has not yet entered the third trimester.

Iraq War
Oh boy.  I haven’t followed the Iraq War closely so I won’t say much for this one.  I believe that it was right to get rid of Saddam Hussein since he was a bit of a tyrannical leader (from what I heard anyway).  However I do think right now things have gone a bit too far.  Using the line again, there’s a fine line between protecting civilians and getting in the way/being unneeded.  I’ll end my thoughts here, seeing as I’m not too knowledgeable about this subject so I don’t want to say things that may be completely off.

Medical Interrogation/Torture
This all depends on the information needed and the crime committed.  Like the panel said, if the crime was large-scale and the information that was being withheld was something vital to save civilian’s lives, then yes I would agree the medical interrogation would be okay in that case.  If it were small case crimes, then there is no reason medical interrogation should be used.  However I do believe this form of getting information from people should be used as scarcely as possible, as I do not relish the thought of putting people under immense pain just to get some words out of them.

Gay Rights/Marriage
Before I get into this, I’d just like to say that I’m straight.  Now, to my thoughts.

I do not believe there is anything wrong with this whatsoever.  The simple fact is: people are different and not everyone is the same.  I don’t get why being gay or bisexual is considered so wrong in our current society.  What’s wrong with liking someone of the same gender?  It’s not like the person likes a monkey or something – it’s still a human to human relationship.  Since humans are so …advanced I guess you could say, in areas of the mind, thoughts, emotions, and personalities, you cannot expect everyone to be exactly the same.  As for marriage, I believe that you should pledge your life to someone that you are truly happy being around.  Whether it is the opposite or the same gender is up to you, but either or there should be nothing wrong with that.  If someone of the same gender makes someone else happy and they want to be married, there should be no reason why they can’t have rights to be married.  Just because it’s not the “norm” doesn’t mean they should be denied the rights.  After all, in the definition of “marriage” nowhere does it specifically say “man and woman” (at least not in this Microsoft Word dictionary).

I think I should stop here before I end up going on a rant with different tangents about people against being gay/bisexual.  To sum it up, I see absolutely nothing wrong with liking people of the same gender and I deeply frown upon people who do see something wrong with it.
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Hm.  Maybe instead of spending my internet-less hours of the day studying and playing DS games on the computer, I should write intelligent and thoughtful blog posts.  After all, they do beat my usual “what I’ve been up to” 20 word posts.

Reminiscing and Being Pensieve

The last day of school was today.  Another year’s gone by.  Did I accomplish what I wanted to?

Lets see… as for getting good grades, that definitely didn’t get accomplished.  Well, mostly only in Bio where I got straight B’s for the year including the midterm and a 68 on the final haha.  Oh the joys of getting my report card…  I definitely accomplished doing well in APCS, as well as making fun of the upperclassmen in there too xD.  That was my main goal for classes – be the only girl (as well as only sophomore) in APCS and kick everyone else’s asses.  Bwuahaha.

Getting active – that was definitely accomplished.  I lost track halfway through the year of what I was doing.  Anime Club, Newspaper Writer, Academic Team, Choir Accompanying, Student Council HR Rep, and the occasional Volleyball Club.  I think that’s it.  At least I stayed after school for more than 5 days through the year!  Not to mention the Youth Service Day …fiasco…thing… ahaha.  Plus all the Academic Team/Choir trips were freaking amazing.

Being less shy – well that happened around friends.  For people I don’t know I’m still mute.  Oh well.

Hanging out more – yes.  Against the will of my parents but yes.  HAH I’m getting a life.  What now?

So I’d say overall it wasn’t a bad year.  As long as my rank didn’t go down more than one (hopefully it went up more than one o_o) I’m a happy camper.

Meanwhile, I’m now a junior.  What the BLOODY HELL if I do say so myself.  Time really flies when you’re having fun.  I never really noticed how fast it was going.  Two years ago I was a freshman and I was inching to get out of that grade.  One year ago I was a sophomore, grown a little but still inching to be older.  And now I’m a junior and it seems strange.  Two more years and it’ll be college.  Ahhhhh save me.

Anyway, it just feels so weird to be growing up and changing.  I look back at who I was oh, lets say about eight years ago and I see a totally different person.  I see someone obsessed with school and 100%’s, a very reserved, shy, antisocial person with a few friends and one good friend.  Thank god back then it was still elementary school and everyone was friends with everyone so I fit in somehow.   I look at myself now and see a person who still cares about school but is somewhat lackadaisical about it, a more open, willing to make friends but still shy procrastinator who just wants to get the most out of life (which isn’t getting 100%’s).  If there’s one thing I have to thank for this change though, as strange as it sounds, it’s the internet.  A very close friend of mine and I were talking today about how the internet changed both our lives and I really must admit, it definitely did to me.

Bit of backstory for people who don’t know.  BIT, not my life story.

I first started regularly going online back when I was 10, nearly 11 years old.  I discovered Mugglenet Chat (Harry Potter fanchat) through a friend and started talking on there.  The snowball effect started there.  Through the next few years my life revolved around that chat and the friends I made there.  I spread myself wider through the internet, joining Shurtugal Chat (Inheritance Series fanchat), becoming an admin there, and making more friends.  I joined sites and forums about my various interests.  Through the years I’ve found many friends, a few close friends, a best friend, a brother, and a sister.  I’ve found love, I’ve found sadness, I’ve found hate, and I’ve found happiness.  It’s a bit strange to admit I have more online friends than real life friends (although my real life friends are just as important to me).

However, I owe the world to the internet, just for simply existing and making it possible for people from all around the world to join up and talk.  If it weren’t for the internet I’d probably be like the one kid who’s initials are AK and is obsessed with getting perfect grades.  But thanks to the people I’ve met online I’ve realized life isn’t just about being valedictorian or whatnot, it’s about living life how you want to and getting the most out of the time that’s given to you.  It’s about having a good time while doing the right things.  It’s about learning and growing and trials and errors.  But most of all it’s about having fun, because you only get to live life once and you never get it back again.  And that is what going online for the past 5 years has taught me.  My life at home is not exactly what you’d call the most fruitful life, so my eyes would have never been opened to real life had I not gone online.

For people who fear the internet because of all the things it has out there and “internet predators ohnoes!” I say this: all you have to do is be smart and choose the right places to go to and the right people to talk to.  Through the years I’ve gone on chat rooms and forums I have not once been in fear of being stalked by some creep because I knew the environment of those places and the type of people who would visit them (or know they existed).  I’ve not once been influenced by something negative (and yes I have seen many ad’s of negative things) because I knew better than to be influenced by something bad.  The internet can be both an enemy and a blessing, but it’s your decisions that makes it either one.  And if you make it a blessing it will be the greatest place you will ever find.

Wow that was a long post.  I think this makes up for the lack of posts xD